In June, Capita and NC Child hosted a roundtable discussion to explore how to address the loneliness epidemic affecting the health and well-being of North Carolina’s youth and families. The conversation brought together child and family policy experts, health professionals, education and business leaders, philanthropic partners, parents, and young people. Participants shared their perspectives, identified how current policies and systems—particularly in education, housing, and the workplace—reinforce social disconnection, and raised promising directions for reform.
Key Takeaways
We need more data to better understand and address loneliness among children and families.
Loneliness is often portrayed in overly simplistic terms that obscure its deeper and more systemic root causes. Much of the current discourse fails to capture the full picture of how social disconnection impacts youth and families and reverberates throughout entire communities. One major reason is that loneliness is difficult to measure. Unlike more tangible public health indicators, there has been a lack of consistent long-term data for decades that otherwise could help identify trendlines and name causal factors contributing to this growing crisis.
Capita has explored the impacts of loneliness and social disconnection, especially on children, parents, and Gen Z in North Carolina since 2021. First with Reach Out and Read, and now with NC Child, we sought to better understand how these issues impact families across the state, and how we can respond with greater care and urgency. We conducted focus groups to learn more about how youth and families in the state were faring. We listened to young people describe the overwhelming pressure to perform academically, socially, and emotionally. Many fear there is only one “right” path to success or to be worthy.
Parents in the state are struggling, too. Many families name stressors such as difficulty in maintaining a work-life balance, feeling disconnected from their community, being exhausted, and wanting to support their children but feeling uncertain how to do so.
Capita’s research and discussion have begun to peel back the layers and identify systemic cultural and structural obstacles that contribute to loneliness, but we cannot stop there. There needs to be deeper investment in data collection and research to study loneliness, disconnection, meaning, and belonging, particularly among youth and young families, and in finding new ways to capture this information. Participants in the recent North Carolina roundtable discussed how federal agencies with robust survey and data collection methods could begin measuring social isolation and loneliness—a critical step in understanding the breadth and depth of this issue on a larger scale and designing effective responses.
Children and teens receive conflicting messages about screen time.
Public health guidelines recommend limiting screen time to under two hours per day for children, but that standard is nearly impossible to meet when school-related screen use alone often exceeds that. One parent described screen dominance as an extension of the COVID-19 pandemic and remote learning that has become deeply embedded in schools. Students are expected to complete assignments on tablets and laptops and engage in digital platforms for learning, all of which reinforces screen use that is significantly more than what is recommended. Many students also use their phones during school hours, creating distractions and spiking screen use even more, although this may be changing as some states and school districts begin to restrict students’ use of phones at school. A high school student and member of NC Child’s Youth Advocacy Council shared that he uses a screen in nearly every class and spends an additional four or five hours on a computer studying and completing assignments at home. This heavy reliance on screens makes it difficult to spend time outdoors, build friendships, and engage in offline activities that support social and emotional well-being. A health expert at the roundtable noted that research indicates sixth graders often spend more than eight hours per day on their personal devices. Participants in the roundtable emphasized that school environments play a critical role in shaping habits and called for more policies to minimize digital distractions by limiting students’ use of phones during the school day.
Social media and technology can be tools for both connection and disconnection.
Social media has been said to be a great connector, allowing people from around the world to form relationships with one another and create online communities that might not otherwise exist. Yet these same tools can also cause harm by pushing unrealistic expectations of success and creating immense pressure to keep up with what others are doing. Among teens, and especially girls, social media has been shown to push harmful messages about body image and beauty standards that contribute to feelings of inadequacy. Among parents, the prevalence of “mommy influencers” can place even more scrutiny and pressure on the day-to-day demands of parenting and foster feelings that they cannot measure up to curated online depictions of family life.
While not the main cause, social media can be a strong contributor to anxiety and depression. In May 2024, Capita funded a first-of-its-kind national survey on loneliness in America conducted by the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s Making Caring Common Project and launched using YouGov’s panel of adult Americans. The survey found that social media and technology were the most cited causes of people’s loneliness. When asked about what contributes most to loneliness in America, nearly three-quarters of respondents said technology is part of the problem.
Roundtable participants echoed these concerns. Adolescence is a key period for developing emotionally vulnerable and meaningful relationships, but a growing body of evidence indicates that social media and technology are pulling young people away from those opportunities. Many at the roundtable noted that rather than strengthening real-world bonds, technology can create shallow interactions. They also expressed concerns about the lack of regulations around artificial intelligence and noted that AI can be harmful for people, especially children, as a source of mental health advice rather than from a trained professional.
One participant, however, noted that AI can be used productively in counseling and that large language models (LLMs) that are regulated can offer a safe space to pose questions that people may be embarrassed or afraid to ask others, potentially serving as an on-ramp to seek other forms of help. Ultimately, the conversations about social media and technology must be rooted in balance. We cannot turn back the clock on digital life, but we can create intentional spaces for dialogue that help these tools support, rather than erode, genuine human connection.
Parental loneliness has a ripple effect on children.
Social and emotional development begins in infancy and is shaped through early interactions. Children learn through direct interaction and watching how their caregivers navigate relationships, express emotions, and engage with their communities. When parents are socially isolated or rarely engage with others, their children may miss critical opportunities to observe and learn social-emotional skills.
In March 2022, Capita commissioned a survey to explore social connection, community and civic engagement, and the well-being of parents in North Carolina with children under the age of 5. The findings were striking: One in three parents with young children reported feeling lonely, and more than one-quarter felt they had no one to turn to for parenting advice during their child’s developmental years.
At the roundtable, participants emphasized that fostering social connectedness among parents is vital to supporting healthy families. A child’s well-being depends on the well-being of the adults who care for them. School-based behavioral health services are critical, but can only go so far if children return to homes where stress, instability, and mental health challenges go unaddressed. When parents struggle and are at their lowest, it becomes infinitely harder for them to support their child’s mental health and development. As one roundtable participant noted, research in rural areas shows that the vast majority of kids experiencing suicidal ideation live in homes where substance use is an issue or parents struggle with mental health issues. In such environments, positive mental health behaviors are often not modeled, leaving children without the relational scaffolding they need.
To truly help children thrive, we must confront the root causes of poor mental health in parents, including chronic poverty, lack of affordable housing, food insecurity, and overwhelming stress. North Carolina must invest in more resources and programs that promote economic security, reduce child poverty, address family violence, and expand access to youth and family services. Reducing parental loneliness matters. It is an investment in early relational health and long-term developmental outcomes for children.
North Carolina must invest in programs and spaces that foster greater social connection.
Investments in community centers, after-school programs, and safe gathering spaces have declined, leaving children and teens with fewer places to connect, explore their interests, or simply be together. Participation in school-based extracurricular programs is often limited by GPA requirements, transportation barriers, and the high costs of participation. For many families, especially those in low-income or under-resourced communities, these barriers can make participation nearly impossible. We need better outlets for kids.
Roundtable participants highlighted the value of inclusive and largely barrier-free programs such as the YMCA and Boys & Girls Clubs of America. They offer structure, mentorship, and peer connection. They give young people the chance to discover what they are good at, what excites them, and where they belong. Increasingly, these programs are also integrating resilience training and mental health practices into their programming, normalizing conversations about emotional well-being. Greater funding for programs that prioritize connection and belonging, and removing structural barriers so every young person has a chance to participate, is an important part of addressing the youth loneliness crisis.
Expanding access to mental health services and combating the shortage of service providers are vital.
North Carolina is facing a severe shortage of mental health professionals. Currently, only five accredited graduate programs in the state train psychologists, and each is highly competitive and limited in capacity. This shortage is particularly evident in schools, where the need for specialized instructional support personnel (SISP) is acute. Psychologists, counselors, social workers, and school nurses play a vital role, not only in addressing individual mental health needs, but also in building a positive school environment. Yet, many schools lack even one full-time mental health professional, particularly in rural areas.
North Carolina must invest more resources to ensure help is available to more families across the state, cost barriers are lowered, and to develop new ways to recruit and retain mental health professionals across the state.
Increasing the availability of services also helps reduce stigma by normalizing mental health support as a core part of family and community well-being.
Roundtable participants pointed to two promising solutions for expanding the number of mental health providers in the state. The Jason Flatt Act would require suicide prevention education as part of school-based mental health policy. Training teachers to better recognize the precursors to suicide and self-harm can help them connect students with the care they need. Additionally, healthcare systems offer untapped potential. Pediatricians and other primary care providers are often the first point of contact for children and families. With appropriate training and resources, they could also play a crucial role in screening for social isolation, loneliness, and early signs of mental distress, integrating mental health more seamlessly into routine care.
Policy and programmatic reforms are critical, but they will fall short if we fail to shift the underlying culture that shapes how we live, relate, and raise children. At the root of many challenges that families and young people in North Carolina face is a value system that overemphasizes individual achievement and perfection. Too many young people believe their self-worth hinges on getting into a top college, hitting arbitrary milestones, or never making a misstep. Adults have a responsibility to challenge these narratives and show that there are many valid paths to success, fulfillment, and a meaningful life.
Trust is another cultural pillar in need of repair. Parents often distrust schools and systems, and students may not trust adults to understand their needs. We need to rebuild trust in our institutions and with one another, but these are things that policy alone cannot address. Our culture of individualism has allowed many children to fall through the cracks without a safety net. Ultimately, we must revive a sense of collective care, a belief that we are all responsible for making our communities good places to live and raise a family, and that we have the power to make a difference.
The roundtable discussion reinforced that policymakers, business leaders, philanthropic groups, nonprofits, and child and family policy experts all have a role in championing a future in which all North Carolinians feel a sense of purpose, are connected to their community, and have the resources they need to reach their full potential. Now is the time for shared leadership and coordinated action to build a more connected and caring state.
Elise Anderson is a Senior Associate at Capita’s Family Policy Lab.
Neil Harrington is the Research Director at NC Child.
